Ask Amy: How do I let go of an identity I've held my whole life, especially when that identity is Mother?

Practically, how do I start letting go of identities I’ve held onto my whole life?

Context:
I’ve always identified as Mother — as long as I can remember, and there was ways this identification and my stories around it are causing me so much pain.

And I can see how the clinging to the identification/stories could potentially be blocking me from expanding beyond them and being open to grace.

A classic case of thinking I have want Thy Will not my will, but not actually feeling that yet.

Probably my tendency to want to control things… I digress.

Dear M,

The idea of the mother archetype is strongly attached to almost all women. It's both biological and conditioned. You were born with the eggs that are to become your future children. You were taught to be a nurturer and that is your nature as well. I'm curious if that identity is the trouble at all or if it's really just the story that is attached to it. Can you rewrite that story now? Bring to mind what is present in your current reality and write that story from here. What is your purest identity in this moment, outside of the story?


It is okay to grieve the hopes and desires we carried as younger versions of ourselves. Now, as an adult, you have new information and new relationships to consider. What of the old story is causing the pain? Do you remember how that story came to be?

Regardless, presence is the only place I've found where the grip on stories or identities loosen and new possibilities live. Accepting your biology and living as presently as possible, as you know, takes practice. It is within any of the thousands of practices where we often find peace and freedom from the illusory identities that are part of this grand ol’ human experience.

For you, I pulled The Sun card. The Sun is asking you to live in the moment as well. What lights you up right now? What is present in your life that needs your focus? Tend to your relationships, tend to yourself. Nourish it all. Be radiant. Be in the light. Everything you tend to now is growing you into the person you are becoming.



For an identity clearing ritual, I suggest using the sun as it is present in so many ways here. Play naked in the sun. Become the child. In this ritual play, allow it to absolve you of the need to nurture anything but this moment. From here, rebuild, rewrite, and renew what that identity means to you.

Wishing you peaceful surrender. May it find you in an exhale. 



XO, Amy